amelia's

amelia's

Tuesday 17 June 2014

My way of living ?

I know sometimes my words are pretty hurtful but you know what I don't mean it. Maybe I am more straightforward especially for the person I care or close with? If you do something that makes me dislike about you, I will just tell you what I dislike about you. The reasons is because I don't like hiding or lie-ing about something that is not even necessary. If I don't take you as my friend or buddies, I won't tell you how I think about you. Instead of telling the truth to hurt you, and desperately wanting you to change, I might just keep it for myself. Do you get my point? If I don't care about you, If I don't give a damn about how bad are you,what's my point telling you? Seek for an argument? Get more enemy?

So, yeah. 
I am straightforward for a reason. 

"What people see in you basically depending on the people you are interacting with."
I agree because as you read through the blog post I posted previously, I'm stubborn, hot-tempered, childish. I admit the fact that friends influence me a lot in life especially I have no family here with me, I need to depend most of my thing myself and also my friends. My 5 college mate which is also known as my college sisters and 2 ex-housemate, the friends I am now closest with. They are all matured. Even though they are only 18 and soon to be 19,20+. They are matured! When I say matured, it means physically and mentally matured. I don't know why. They don't quarrel for childish thing. They don't get angry for unnecessary thing. They will give you advice whenever you need. For examples, A and B quarrel. They don't support anyone of them, don't care whether who is the person they are closest or not so close to, don't care whether you are A or B but they will just provide you the best advice and it's up to you to came out with your own decision. When you get angry without proper reason or maybe the reason for you being angry is lame,they won't leave you alone or go mad with you, they will give you some time to chill your emotion then will approach and talk to you (if you feel like saying or else they won't force you.)

Let me tell you how horrible am I before who I am today. I can get angry for very tiny thing that happened in my life. You can call me MISS SENSITIVE. *HAHA* Well, at some point, I salute myself for changing some of my bad attitude. I don't think of changing my attitude. Seriously, I don't even thought of it. As days goes by, I can't deny the fact that I am a much more better person now. All we need is time. This morning, I was texting with a friend of mine. Since I did not attend my morning class, she told me what I have to do and what I've missed from that class.Maybe I am annoying for asking the same damn thing over and over again ?Then I started to notice, she was sort of irritable. IDK. I was so angry this morning. If I were the person I used to be last time, I will not care about you but to reply you, "wtf you want ?" , "why are you angry ? I am just asking anyway ? If you don't want to explain then fine, I will find someone else, you don't have to react this way", BUT I've change ! Wtf. I calm myself for 2-3 min then try to re-read the conversation. The next thing I reply her is "thank you for telling me". I did not get angry but I understand the reason of her being irritable. WHAT ? So, NOT me.

Next thing is complicated situation. Last time, no matter what situation or problem you are having, I will be the busy body girl giving negative or nasty comments OR If you have something unhappy going on in your life, I WANT TO KNOW. If you don't want to let me know, I will think a lot and start thinking what's the point for us being friend. Lame right ? I know. Now, I don't. I stay away from complicated situation especially when there are nothing related to me. I am tired. I tend to have the thinking, "If you want to tell me, automatically you will tell me. If you don't then I won't be forcing you with a gun". Most of the time now, I listen more than I comment. Why now so big difference, I have no idea.

My life move on with a big smile. :)

I started to think that I am changing into an old aunty that are getting rid of her teenage life. *finger-crossed*

Before I end my blog, I would like to thanks my fellow sisters for being nice,tolerate,patient. "The people that want you to be a part of their life, they will definitely make an effort on it." I am not a very good girl with the best attitude and personality, but I am willing to change for the person that concern about me. I will keep the memories that I've had in my past. Maybe GOD was right. If you never learn to let go, you will never know what you've missed in front of you. No point for keep looking back for the same person. No point keeping their soul but not their heart. No point being care for the people that keep wanting to put revenge on you. Thanks sisters. Without anyone of you, I will never cope every single thing that smooth and wise. Each and everyone of your effort, time, turning me into who I am now. Not even ego nor childish. My sincere appreciation to my fellow sisters, Anvale,Raini,Ning,Kheii,Eunice,Cassandra,Vivienne. *cheers*

To sisters,
"I may not be the greatest friend in the whole wide world, but I will shelter you whenever you need me".
-amelia's

Typical asian selfie. :O