I'm admitting that I've been so ridiculous nowadays. Which me myself couldn't stand it somehow. I try to not be so stingy towards people, but I just can't control myself being petty. I'll try not to be anymore okay ? I will be a more whatever person who love to make people laugh. Now, I should be confessing my sin to GOD and tell the people the truth. I did mad when people were teasing me or fooling around with me. I simply don't think is funny. Although it is just a joke, but I take it so seriously sometimes. Actually, it still depends on who is making the silly jokes with me. I hate it when I simply needed to know something then you'll be replying else word which trying to think that I am not serious. I have a friend of mine, which I personally love him so much because I think he is cute & lovely ? But now not at all. Is it because when we know each other too long, we'll be knowing more deeply on how is his personality, attitudes and styles ? As time passed, we wouldn't be as close as last time we used to be ? He is one of my friend who used to take my question as a joke. Damn annoyed. When I am trying to call & ask, where are you ? He'll tend to reply something ridiculous as if I am kidding. Such as, America,Australia or Italy etc.
I mean is this question so funny to get this kind of dumb answer ? As I am trying to be nice and reply him, of course I know you are here in America,Australia or Italy but can you specific it ? I am not that smarty. He'll be annoyed and said " at my house la". WTH ? Please, If I know where were you do you think I am that silly or a fool to ask you that simple question ? Can't you just differentiate between a joke and a serious question ? You aren't a fool aren't you ? Yes, I mad and I really really do. Sometimes If you joke like this once or twice I'll be fine, but more than that I'll be super pissed. I don't want to mention who is that "he" referring to because unless I have his permission to write his name on my blog or else I wouldn't have write his big name here.
Besides, If you are a friend of mine of Facebook you'll know that I don't write vulgar words on Facabook. No matter how mad I am that moment, I'll just write "fcuk" instead of "fuck". Because I don't think I should release my anger to my other Facebook friends. Reputation is very important too. But, I am sorry I broke it. I wrote that status with rude words. I had a small fight with this housemate of mine. I don't hate him. I just don't like he teasing me like as if I am always the one making mistakes. I know sometimes I am not good at talking. I might accidentally speak out words that hurts people feeling,but I just simply saying and I don't mean it. Whenever I am trying to talk, he'll be the one interrupting the conversation to the person I'm talking to by saying "If I were you(the person I am talking to), I would have slap her(me)". What on earth I did ? At the first few times, I admit that sometimes I am wrong. So, I kept myself in silence mode and think about what have I done to deserve that slap he mentioned always. Then, the next time I talk I'll be more careful and I'll take care of the words came out from my mouth.
We are humans being, we have our patience limit. On that day, I really couldn't stand it anymore but I didn't tell out anything. I keep everything in my heart. I went up to my room and I started to cry. I've never cry for so loud and horrible. The room next to me even came out from their room and knock on my door asking me am I okay ? But I refuse to unlock my door because I do not have the energy to unlock my door. I am tired. I am tired for being quiet. I am tired for being teased. I am tired for being nice & patience. I cry the whole night. I expressed all my anger & sadness. I tell myself, I never ever met a friend who really make me feel this madness. No matter how people tease me, make a fool out of me, talking bad behind me, I can just forgive and forget and just let everything go. For him, I cannot do this. Maybe in the past, I owed you too much that is why I am suffering this in my future. Now, we never really talk. Other housemate trying to get us back together, but I refuse to. I'm sorry. Maybe give me some times to erase all the pain.
Can I ask you people a question ? Do you ever hurt a person ? I mean sort of accidentally dropped a friends phone or accidentally pushed a small kid and hurt his leg or hand. Let me ask, do you want this thing to happened in purpose ? Nobody want. So, what had done cannot be undone. If the unfortunate accidentally stuff happened on you, you are the unfortunate person who hurts, will you just forgive and forget about everything and take it as an unexpected incident or you will keep repeatedly tell other people he/she did that to me and I am hurt and I had a scar or keep telling the person who hurt you and make him/her feel guilty about the unexpected incident ? For me, I will forgive and forget because people makes mistakes. Sometimes, we don't know when we will make this mistakes that causes inconvenience to the others. But we just did. So, when you did, you want a sincere forgiveness or a fake forgiveness ?
Nowadays, I admit that I could no longer stand this best friend of mine. She is being too mean now as if we owed her a millions or more in life. I mean why acted in this way ? We are best friend, aren't we ? We go through every good and hard times. Sometimes, I wanted to be counsellor to fixed your mistakes. But I couldn't help. I don't know what makes you think that whatever we did is not sincere & faithful. I don't know what makes you doubt at our works. I don't know what makes you have so much anger on us. I don't know what makes you want to leave us and lie to yourself saying that being alone is better than having us around you. What is our mistakes ? You confessed your words on social networking sites but not us. You talk behind our back to make things goes more terribly horrible. Why ? I try to understand you, but why can't you try to understand us too ? We are not mad for what you've done to us. We just don't understand how can a wonderful nice friend can be like this in a twinkling of an eye. When my friend trying to tell you what is your mistakes, you'll be like "whatever" face and walk off. What does that represent ? I don't want you to change definitely, but please realise that people are making a distance towards you. Define the words "why". I'll always be your listener."A friend in need is a friend indeed".
If I don't like you, I won't act. I will just ignore you. But if you asked, I will admit. Being honest is much better than being fake right ? Fake created more sin. So here is all about me admitting the mistakes I've done and confessed to some people who I am currently dislike. It's all my true words. I've been keeping in my hearts for months, now I would like to tell everyone. I am that kind of person If you don't step on my tail, I won't step on yours. No matter what mistakes you've done, I forgive you because I hate repeatedly tell myself "Oh, I hate her/him because he/she did bla bla bla." NO ! I don't want to burden myself. I don't want more white hair to grow on my hair !!! So, no way ! Noticed that sometimes you said you're sorry to me, then I'll be like *blur*. Actually I forgotten. I don't remember unhappy things. Because YOLO ( you only live once) Why not just have a happy life instead of just hating people and remember things that don't make you happy right ? If you saw post that I wrote about you, I CARE ABOUT YOU. If I don't care about you, do you think I'll be writing you here on my blog ? That's all.
If I have the courage to write down my own unhappy moments and confessed unhappiness people I had, why can't you ?
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